[from Lamentations 2:19]
The verse that carried me those four and half years, drew me out of the drowning waters of fear and doubt and anger. God was listening when I poured my heart out like water. He saw when I lifted my hands in prayer for Graeme's fragile life. He knew the agony that crushed me in the night by Graeme's bed. The deep weariness of hospital hallways, He knew that. That long mournful release, He knew that, too.
I stand, surrounded by Graeme's life on our walls. There his paintings, here his smile. The walls give testimony to his brief walk here and for a moment my heart rails against the path we followed and I quietly moan, "Why, God, why this?"
Two years. Two years is not long enough to wear down the edges of memories. I am cut and experience the deep ache that cannot live in words. I page through cards, notes, pictures: words from a grace family that lifted me, carried me, dragged me through every worry, every test, every procedure, every recovery. These words celebrated, comforted, encouraged, strengthened, mourned and remembered.
Today, I will lift up my hands again, in thankfulness. Thank you, Father, for Graeme's sunshine smile, the dance of heaven in his eyes, and every precious breath You gave him.
Thank you for Living Hope and the coming Renewal. Thank you that our last goodbye will not last...
Kylee, I wish I could put my thoughts and prayers into words like you can. You're fantastic. I celebrate Graeme's life in my heart and mind everyday, but would never know how to get it out for people to hear. I ache for him and miss him. There will always be an emptiness where he should be. I'm very happy that when I go to God when it really feels a little too much for me, He's there always, He fills me up. I impatiently wait for that day when I'll see Graeme face to face again. I thank God for that often. Love you,
ReplyDeleteyour hubby :)