Rock What You Got

There's this song on the radio. It's not the kind of song I usually enjoy. It's pop-ish, heavy, and repetitive. But the chorus won't leave my head. It goes like this:

Rock what you got

Rock what you got

Don't ever let them make you stop

Rock what you got

Light up the lot

No one can rock the way you rock*

I've appreciated this rather quirky encouragement to boldly be the woman I was created to be in Christ. It's an extra little push away from the Fear that has defined me for most of my life. The world of my childhood defined me as the odd girl, the one to avoid, the one with problems, the one who was never-enough-of-whatever-was-wanted or way-too-much-of-what-was-unusual. The world trained me to dislike and to hide things about me that others rejected or didn't understand. I grew to become a total fake, unsure of what I liked, what I knew, where I should go. And I knew that I had to hide the fact that I was a fake. People became a real danger.

Today, with my hands raised in worship, God reminded of how far He has brought me. Timid, silent, and stiff I came to church just a handful of years ago. I had high walls to to keep everyone out and eyes for only myself. But the chisel of grace, the humility of prayer, and the power of the Word have remade me. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. (1Cor 15:10)

So, what am I then? Recently, as I sat near a quiet field with a friend, far away from responsibility, I asked myself that question. Apart from what I do, who am I? These last few weeks I have tried to find an answer: I am someone who laughs (and laughs and laughs) at strange things. I have a deep, unexplainable love for words. I unendingly crave learning and I feel alive when I'm teaching. I'm entertained by simplicity. I can barely breathe without some silence in my day. I love watching birds, dissecting plants, eating cheese, making lists. All these things and more define and shape me. And each day, by grace, God continues His work in me.

I am not finished. No, not yet.

But I don't have to wait to until I'm finished. While I'm being made, I can teach what I know, share what I've learned, explain what I've seen. Instead of hiding them, I can use these quirks and these gifts to reflect the character of the creative God who knit me together.

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them... (Rom. 12:6a)

Right here I think that Paul might be telling us, "Rock what you got." His words are twice as inspiring as the guitar-filled riffs of Superchick, though. They provide the context in which our quirks and gifts should be used.

He says before:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. (Rom. 12:1)

And after:

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord... (Rom. 12:10-11)

Who I am and the things I love, my knowledge, my ability, and my experience are nothing if I'm not using them in service to my God. I can rock what I got all day long, but if I'm not doing it for Christ it's only noise. Lord, help me do more than make noise...

*Superchick, Rock What You Got